Parental Leave

The hilarious moments to be had whilst watching the 1987 film 'Three men and a Baby' are stupendous. From exasperating to heart-warming, the clumsy antics of three grown 'career' men in front of a helpless infant can be great fun... if you're a woman in the know. If you're a man, chances are you sit tightly in your corner of the sofa throughout, whilst your missus roars with laughter for all she's worth - she is probably remembering your very own, very similar antics.

Strange to say in this day and age when men take up and learn to do almost anything, from tossing a salad to flying aircraft, many are still reluctant to get the hang of the rather gruesome looking task of childcare. Some men have even been known to boast that they've never changed a nappy ever, even after fathering not one but three kids in a row. Those of us who have been blessed with of multi-taskers for husbands and partners would find that hard to live with.

Truth is that nowadays more men are seen out and about with baby, pushing prams, doing the shopping with baby in one hand and basket in the other, feeding bottles in public. But our Mediterranean culture is typically macho and so a proposal to take up childcare full time instead of the wife/female partner will probably be met with raised eyebrows and a smirk from most quarters. The first comment is generally something like, 'How will you live without his salary?' To be fair we have to admit that since time immemorial, it was generally the men who left home each day to go out to work and bring the cash in, so very few had any opportunity to train at the hands-on practises of childcare.

But in practise we are facing a social situation which sees a handed-down culture that is at loggerheads with the methods of education children are being spoonfed. Both males and females are encouraged to study, promote themselves, be smart enough to approach the big wide world with enough certificates to make an Oxford graduate take to his heels, and yet neither mums nor dads are trained in child care at school or beyond. There are established prerequisites to get married in church - you have to attend the Cana courses if you're to get permission to walk the aisle. But there is absolutely no imposed training to ascertain that one can raise a child properly. For all anybody cares, babies are well and truly guinea pigs dependant on their parents' natural inclination at caring and nurturing.

Now women are supposed to have an automatic maternal instinct that kicks in at the sight of a wailing bundle, which in effect it generally does, pronto. Men are nowadays considered 'with it' if they at least participate in the birth process and their paternal instinct sure kicks in... they usually emerge from the delivery room, bleary eyed, shaking knees and all, aimlessly stating to whoever happens to be in the hallways that 'I have a boy/girl!', receiving handshakes, pats on the shoulder and an encouraging 'Prosit man'.

Then what? Most men usually copycat their woman's antics. But why can't they learn as much, sharing all the baby care tasks involved throughout?

Of late the media has been trying to get the message through that dads can avail themselves of parental leave whilst mummy goes back to work. There has been a general promoting of the male's active part in raising and taking care of his own children, whilst fostering a modern image of a man free of violence and aggression - one step closer to chipping away at stereotypical attitudes.

Is a dad on parental leave less masculine? Most women think not. If anything it is totally endearing to see a father playing with his kids, in a frolicking manner most women are incapable of adopting. But centuries of associating childcare with women, makes the men's role generally stop at that. When there are dribbling chins, sticky fingers and nappies in their midst, most dads gingerly step out of the way.
In a bid to get men to join in on the ballgame, legislation is now allowing both parents to make use of parental leave entitlement up until their child is eight years old. There are tangible benefits to men taking up parental leave - they get to appreciate their kids at close range on a full day basis. Most men moan that working long hours means they never get to see or enjoy their own kids so full-time child-rearing can be extremely fruitful especially considering that kids grow so very fast and important milestones can be witnessed at first hand.

But on a more practical note, most parents find the situation is not all that simple to handle.  According to 'Fathers on Parental Leave', a 2005 report based on qualitative research with fathers on leave, employers and decision makers in Lithuania, Iceland, Denmark and Malta, it is clearly spelt out that parental leave in Malta is unpaid. Whilst at present the main concern is to increase the uptake of parental leave among fathers both in the public and private sector, there are a number of hitches to be faced.

One year parental leave per parent is given to public sector employees. However private sector workers have to settle for three months per parent amounting to six months' worth of parental leave between them, although individual leave allowance is not transferable between the parents.  The three months need not be taken choc-a-block but can be staggered according to individual needs. Yet employers within the private sector have the right to refuse or postpone requests for parental leave if they foresee organisational problems.

From their experience of parental leave, Maltese men interviewed claimed that a considerable financial setback was involved, requiring a shift in lifestyle, as well as possible negative effects on career prospects.

Then again, personal experiences lifted from another publication on the subject prove the intrinsic worth of the father's parental leave opportunity. In 'Men Do It! Stories of Fathers on Parental Leave', another 2005 publication also by the Centre for Equality Advancement/Vilnius Eugrimas, Maltese fathers commented thus, 'Going back, I would take parental leave again!', and 'I think I have gained a lot from this experience. I think I have gained as a person, even more as a father' or 'It is such a worthwhile experience. I heard my daughter say her first word!'

At the end of the day, whilst Malta may not be able to copy larger countries which can afford to offer parental leave to fathers on full pay, even a contribution of sorts would go far towards alleviating any economic difficulty the parents would have to face in order to carry out their wish of partaking the father's parental leave option. Ultimately even the post of the male on parental leave should be safeguarded in order to allow him to return to his career with minimal disruption.

It would be interesting to hear what fathers have to say in this regard, although it is almost certain that most are not even aware of this possibility even existing.

Article prepared by Ms Marika Azzopardi

Marika Azzopardi is a freelance writer and journalist. Although she has been writing 'all her life', publicly she has been writing prolifically for the past 12 years. A frequent contributor to national English language papers published in Malta and varied magazines, she enjoys writing about 'human stories', art and whatever involves feminine issues. Also the author of children's books and short stories, she likes to delve into fiction from time to time.

These features originally appeared in print in 2006 on The Sunday Times - Classifieds Section, as part of a series discussing the issues of women workers in Malta.