Relationships at Workplace

You've done it! After several years of battling office politics, petty jealousies and backstabbing co-workers, you've landed the job of your dreamsa step up in your career, a better salary, a nicer working environment and best of all a challenging position that will finally allow you to prove your worth.

Three months down the road your dream of a lifetime has turned into a complete nightmare. The work itself is varied and challenging - everything you could have hoped for. Yet you're miserable, a bundle of nerves. You're beginning to dread going into work every morning and it won't be long before your work starts to suffer. It's not your fault! How can you be creative and productive when you are constantly under attack, forever looking over your shoulder and always on the defensive? Your co-workers are succeeding in turning your life into a hell on earth. Hey, it's true - Freddie Kruger is a virtual saint compared to some of your colleagues!

Sounds familiar? How many of you have found yourselves in a similar situation? What can you do? How do you get out of this mess?

You could always resign. But how long will you be able to manage without a steady income? You're hardly making ends meet as it is! The rent/mortgage, the car loan payment, your monthly bills they won't disappear as easily as your pay cheque. One thing is for sure; if you start dipping into what little savings you do have, you can just forget about that skiing holiday next winter.

Look for another job? Easier said than done! Do you have the stamina to go through the whole 'job search' process again? Countless interviews - with little or no vacation leave, how can you get the time off work? What reason will you give employers for wanting to leave a relatively new position? What will they think of youargumentative, a lousy team player, and weak?

Even if you should succeed in finding new employment what guarantees do you have that history won't repeat itself, again and again? Can you risk having your CV looking like the Guinness World Book of Records and being labelled as The Job-Hopper of The Century?

Let's face it, every job is different, unfortunately difficult employees are found within every work environment. You probably spend more waking hours with your colleagues than with your family (what a scary thought!) And just like in your family life, the relationships that you form with your colleagues can make your job a joy or a drudgery. The ability to create good working relationships is often as important as the other skills required to get your job done.

But how do you cope?

You have already taken that first important step and recognised that an attitude problem does exist at your workplace. This negativity has to stop! It is affecting your performance, the performance of other team members - not to mention the relationship with clients or customers.

Next, you must determine the office personality that you are dealing with and learn how to turn the existing conflict into a cooperative and respectful relationship that is the cornerstone of every successful organisation.

The Steamroller

Domineering and autocratic individuals that are always irritated and antagonistic; they railroad everyone into their way of thinking "Its my way or no way - no ifs, buts or whats".

Don't stand for it! Fill your Manager in on what's been happening. For pity's sake, don't whine. Be prepared to show how this person is affecting your job performance. Be ready to give valid examples on how you could have handled the situation differently, in their stead. Stick to your guns, you must be assertive with steamrollers!

The Old Stick-In-The-Mud

A firm believer that it takes character to stay in one place and be happy there, this type of person resists any change at all costs. While they may not openly voice their objection to change, often approving and praising new ideas, they rarely implement them. The die-hard Stick-in-the-Mud may even resort to extreme measures if they feel particularly intimidated by a change, doing everything in their power to undermine its value.

Your best tactic is to involve these individuals in the actual change process. Encourage them to voice their opinions, even allow them to take credit for any changes that are made. You'll be amazed at how quickly their resistance to change will diminish.

The Not-In-My-Job-Descriptionist

"No Way! That's not in my job description". Refusing to perform a task, no matter how trivial is often this person's way of retribution. Bored, feeling unappreciated and having lost the zest to move out of their dead-end jobs, these individuals like nothing better than to irritate their colleagues and employers by doing as little as possible.

Be patient and sympathetic to your co-workers' plight but stop short of becoming a shoulder to cry on. Use every opportunity to subtly advise your colleague in taking more initiative and pride in their work opening the door to their own personal growth and advancement in their career.

The Gossiper

Obsessed with their own self-importance, the spreading of rumours and half-truths gives this individual temporary control over their work environment and their co-workers.

You can always ignore it, but your best bet is to stop the rumours before they start. "You'll never believe what I heard" is your cue to move away from the conversation. Let it be known that you give no credence to gossip. It won't be long before others follow your lead. Without an ear to bend, the gossiper will have no choice but to move onto more productive forms of communication.

The Wet Blanket

Doom and gloom follows these individuals everywhere they go. Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong and if it doesn't they will do everything conceivable to see that it does.

There is not much that can be done to change a pessimist's outlook on life. No matter how hard you may try, they will never look on the bright side of life. You can only hope that your optimism will rub off on them and that eventually they might pick up on your more positive habits and replace them with their negative ones.

The Procrastinator

Commitment is not part of their vocabulary and their main aim in life is to work as little as possible. A large part of their time is spent daydreaming and making plans on how to unwind after a long hard day of doing nothing.

The Procrastinator needs to be given a clear outline of what needs to be done and a deadline in which to complete it. If your work depends on this individuals input document all requests for data. Don't be afraid to follow up your request, after all, your job may depend on it. By keeping records of all request and subsequent follow ups, you'll have an accurate account of what actually happened if an assignment is not completed on time.

The Critic

This person's main mission in life is to find fault with everything and anything. They have never heard of construction criticism and they will never give you any positive feedback.

The next time this individual tries to bursts the bubble on one of your more creative ideas, ask them to substantiate their disagreement by giving specific reasons and examples. Be persistent, if their criticism is unfounded they will find this difficult to do and back down.

The Weeping Willow

Just like a child, this individual will scowl, throw a tantrum and often burst into tears at the first sign that things aren't going their way. Constantly stressed they are unable to handle any kind of pressure.

During these episodes the best solution is silence. Allow the person to regain their composure and continue on as if nothing had happened. The Weeping Willow needs constant support and encouragement so go out of your way to praise a job well done!

The Bleeding Heart

Usually the first one in the office and the last one out - they'll do anything that is asked of them but complain constantly about their workload, their colleagues, clients and employers.

More often than not, these individuals have no personal life to speak of and their colleagues and teammates become their surrogate family. Their offer of assistance is genuine so don't hesitate in accepting it. All they ask for in return is your gratitude, support and encouragement. Their greatest fear is being unappreciated.

The Accuser

Unable to own up to their own mistakes this individual is very resourceful when it comes to shifting the blame on others. They take perverse pleasure in seeing their teammates reprimanded in their stead.

Don't be a scapegoat! The only way to stop an accuser is to back them into a corner. Be specific; show how it was their miscalculations that were at fault.

The Nit-Pick

By focusing in on the smallest of mistakes and details, the Nit-Pick quickly looses sight of the big picture, often wasting valuable time. A great discerner of information, they become very uncomfortable without all the facts.

Ensure that this individual has all the data/details for the job at hand. Use broad-based terminology to specify what needs to be done - the major benefit, the overall goal, the main point etc

Recognise a few familiar faces? More importantly, are you ready to invest the time and effort needed to form more effective work relationships? Relationships can be delicate things, especially in the work place where they are often built or shattered by the actions we take.

Beginning to sound too much like hard work? Well, nobody promised that it would be easy, nothing worthwhile ever is. At the end of the day, you're the new kid on the block - you're the one that needs to fit in! By learning to be an effective listener and understanding the needs of your co-workers, you will in turn gain their respect and trust, forming the foundations of strong workplace relationships.

Finally, take a long hard look at yourself. Do you have more in common with one of the personalities discussed, than you care to admit? It's natural to blame someone else for a difficult relationship, but in reality in takes more than one person to create a conflict. Remember, it's much easier to change your own behaviour than to persuade others to change theirs.

Article prepared by Commercial Services Bureau (CSB) Ltd.

Since 1987, CSB Ltd. has been servicing the local and international business community with its range of employment/recruitment related services. It has helped thousands of employees improve their job conditions and careers, and employers obtain the ideal staff for their organisations.