Professionalism and Self Esteem

Do you believe in yourself? Do you give yourself the credit you deserve? Self-Esteem can help us to achieve so much. It is an integral part of personal happiness, fulfilling relationships, success in business and achievement. It is also an ongoing process of balancing our lives by attending to our personality (our soul), our performance (our mind) and our presentation (our body).

Self Esteem is the way a person thinks and feels about himself and how well he does things that are important to him. It is belief in oneself. It is the combination of self-confidence and self-respect - the conviction that you are competent to cope with life's challenges and are worthy of happiness and success.

People in leadership positions will agree that we need to develop individuals with healthy or high self-esteem characterised by tolerance and respect for others. Individuals who accept responsibility for their actions, have integrity, take pride in their accomplishments, are self motivated, willing to take risks, capable of handling criticism, seeking challenges, and take control of their lives. It is people who are life affirming, constructive, responsible and trustworthy.

With self-esteem and ego being inversely related - the ego is a projection of how we want and need the world to see us - we have to understand when the ego is in control (this projects low-self esteem). A person with low self-esteem is highly sensitive. The greater our self-esteem the less hurt we feel when someone is disrespectful.

When we feel angry, it is because to some extent we are fearful. Fear comes from loss of control. Anger is the impulsive response to this fear, and we tend to direct our anger toward the source we feel is responsible. Anger makes us feel powerful.

When trying to gain respect from others, people with low self-esteem tend to do the very things that make other people lose respect for them. They brag, gossip, are judgemental, arrogant, critical and embarrass others.

Have you ever wondered why it is so important for someone to believe he is always right despite the obvious evidence to the contrary? The person 'needs' to be right for the same reasons someone gets angry. Low self-esteem. Once you are aware of this, you will be able to recognise that it is not about YOU but it is about HIM/HER and their EGO. You need to see the situation for what it is, and not allow your own ego get involved!

Building Self Confidence

To build confidence and self-esteem you need to understand what your self-expectations really are. When you think of tackling something, how do you feel you should manage it? What standards do you think you have to live up to? Is there someone you know and highly respect that you could emulate until you are able to stand on your own?

Do you believe that people are born with self-esteem? It may be true that being brought up with encouragement and support does help people achieve a lot - but it can also be said that others who have not had these benefits have strived and through sheer determination, were able to achieve personal success in all they do. Don't give yourself a hard time for failing - look at it as an opportunity to learn and to grow as a person.

Build and develop positive memories rather than allow negative thoughts, memories and feedback to cloud your judgement and self worth. Talk to family and friends and allow them to help you build the positive attitude that will guide you through personal growth and development.

Self-Esteem at Work

In the office show yourself to be energetic, keen, polite, respectful, cheery and positive. This will win the support, respect and friendship of your colleagues, subordinates, and your boss. Offer to help when you have spare time, show you are willing to learn from others, and they in turn will want to learn from you.

Building your own self-confidence may be the best investment you make!

As your self-confidence increases, your stress levels will drop. You will begin to realise that you have different responses to other people. Getting on with everyone would be wonderful, an ideal world! In reality however, there are bound to be people we like or don't like, whom we can work well with, and whom we cannot, those with whom we just 'click' and those we don't.

Getting on with people does not just mean being nice to them - it also means being prepared to be honest, tactful and polite, firm yet assertive. The way forward is to understand yourself and your 'buttons' - what can trigger an aggressive response in you.

Self-Esteem and Conflict

Think of the last five times you were in conflict situation and ask yourself: Who was it with? What was it about? Who started it? How did it end? See if there was a pattern, a common subject, a person, or relationship. Once you see a pattern you can start to rehearse a new way to manage the situation.

How to raise your Self-Esteem

Try these 10 suggestions to increase and build your self-esteem, and you will be pleased you did! Follow a few golden rules -

• Face your fear - it is never as bad as you think it is
• Forget your past failures - learn from them, grow, change, develop. If you fail don't be defeated - try something else
• Know what you want and ask for it - take responsibility for your actions and your choices
• Reward yourself when you have achieved something
• Set achievable targets and get regular feedback. Don't set yourself unreasonable standards
• Be on time for everything
• Show respect for others and they in turn will learn to trust you
• Keep your word and you will be seen as being reliable. Always tell the truth. Learn to forgive - yourself and others
• Have the courage to do the right thing and you will build a good reputation
• Be calm and alone for at least 24 minutes a day

So, by determining your personal attributes and becoming comfortable with yourself, you will find it so much easier to focus on your accomplishments, learn from your failures, and learning to be realistic. Self-esteem that is grounded in reality and balanced between an equal sense of worth and competence, will provide today's business world with brilliant, yet compassionate leaders.

Reference: Robert Reasoner; Elizabeth Morris MA MAHPP